Friday, December 18, 2015

(Almost) A Year's Review

Hi everyone!

Couldn't believe it's approaching the end of the year already. How time flies! Whew.

This year has been quiet hard and unpredictable for me. Changes happening in in my life, including the significant ones as well. Couple of decisions I executed have brought me to the point where I am today  and hopefully it will direct me to the better pathway insya Allah. Amen.

In May, I shifted back home after finishing some field works in Surabaya and Depok.

In August, I continued my study and be back on track as a postgrad student. Thanks to my Dad for paying my tuition. Hopefully I can make it in less than 4 semester. Amen.

In October, the most unexpected news came and hit me. It had made me seriously think to end my life immediately. I felt like the world has come to its end and it stopped spinning. The doomsday has finally come.

Ahh.. you know, when yo're seeing the most expected person in your life is about to leave--leaving for the good of both party, for me and for him. For my family and for his family, basically for us--it's never been easy.

I went through October-November with full of tears everyday, swollen eyes and tremendous aches in head and heart. I never thought that moving on would be sooo painfully difficult, especially when you're fighting it alone.

Boy... it's freaking not easy. Not easy for both me and him. No one has ever told me that moving forward would be this painful (oops, Adele and Taylor Swift have actually). But at the end... not easy doesn't mean that it's impossible.

I am now able to write it down here after winning the battle over my ego for some long-hard time. Alhamdulillah.

Thank God for my senior friends in college with all their warmhearted words that gave me reason to return back smile onto my face, even until I laugh uncontrollably like an idiot. And not to forget my KIA lecturer who has opened my eyes to see life from child's development perspective, making me realize that I couldn't be selfish and hardass lady. (Important note: for those in the move on stage, surrounding yourself with senior or cheerful friends WILL REALLY HELP. And also, learning about parenting and child's development DID WORK, at least for me)

The journey of life is still long ahead for both me and him. I have to let my attachment to him go that I can move on with a light heart like a balloon, without any space for hard feeling. And as the alternate ending, I can say the idea of remaining good friend works in this case :) :)

So yeah...
Gotta be more focused to what needs my attention right now. My priorities has changed ever since and yeah.. I guess that's all for now.

Thank you for reading!

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