Thursday, March 6, 2014

A Trip That Made Up My Mind

It is my Malaysia trip along with my parents. I initially had no idea what would it bring until the memorable 4D3N I spent with them really made me wanna take a U-turn in my life's direction.

During the Malaysia trip with my parents, I got some break from seeking for job which made me getting closer to them. I am so happy to see how excited my parents waved at me on the arrival's gate at LCCT Kuala Lumpur. I am so glad seeing how happy my dad taking pictures with his old Nokia mobile phone in every spot we visited. I am so delighted to see my mom passionately hopping from one shop to another along with my aunty and purchasing some beautiful fabrics. Most of all, I am so touchy with the nice moment I had with mom at night. After being so tired of walking and shopping a whole day, we still couldn't sleep early at night. We just lying in bed and talking about this and that. She was the one that dominated the conversation while I being kind-hearted listener. I could clearly see that this is that she really missed since I left home for studying in UI. I didn't come home regularly, even sometime I didn't celebrated Idul Fitri in hometown. It makes her didn't get a good company and quality time with her daughters anymore. No one at home would comment about her new outfit. No one would help her cooking in kitchen.

Immediately, just in 1 second, I was like waking up. I realized how I became so far with my parents lately. I became a very selfish bird who forgot the nest. I was so busy to be cool, to pursue so-called status as a working lady. I totally forgot where I am coming from, my root. I totally forgot the joy of being next to mom, talking each other, going out together, visiting market, spending day in kitchen and cooking together.

Right after the trip, I feel my life in this capital become so flat, even so misery. Just staying here alone and doing things by myself while I could have done something if I were next to her. I really want to go back home but I realize that I still have nothing to stand by myself, I mean, the good asset to live my life. I realize that it wouldn't be bunch of money to start a business, regardless the fact that I have never been good in business.

It is the education. I believe that education is a bridge that may carry me to hometown with the biggest chance of being lecturer in my discipline. So here I am, setting up my direction to continue my postgrad study. I have been learning the route for the university admission and all stuffs about scholarship for the past few weeks... So... wish me all the best to get there!

Mots of all, I am very thankful to Allah for opening my heart to go towards this way, to be back for my parents. He is the One that holding each and every heart, giving hidayah to everyone He desired. Now I am feeling so peaceful in this path which I know will not be easy, but I always pray to Allah to keep me in this track for always devoted to my parents. Guide me in Your way, Allah. Please show me the way and give me strength to go through it. Amien.

1 comment:

  1. Amien .. May Allah hear your dua :)
    I think should you start to small business like online shop ( If you like ), or try to make something to sell
    until you get the job. Mmh.. or you can try also teach in english at kumon or primagama or else, maybe there have job vacancy.

    Honesly I like your blog, because your blog always writing in english. So i can learning more and improve my english here. Know more vocab and learning little bit of grammar.

    Correction, if i have mistake of word :)